“Committed to the Absolute Truth of the Word of God”

Friend of the Family is a newsletter that is published quarterly by Biblical Family Ministries.  You will find articles on the family and other topics, as well as prayer requests and praises.  We hope you enjoy reading our latest edition of Friend of the Family!

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                                        As we pursue an understanding of God’s plan for marriage, would you agree with the basic message of Matthew 19:9, if we eliminate the “exception clause”? Without that clause, the verse reads very simply. “Whosoever shall put away his wife and shall marry another committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away doth commit adultery.” Do you believe those words? It has never been an easy truth to accept and while it has never changed, society has changed and has less regard for marriage than ever before. But, who could deny the meaning of the verse? The real issue of debate then becomes the exception clause. The exception clause is also rather simple. It says, “…except it be for fornication”. The statement means, the only exception to divorce and remarriage being adulterous is fornication. To get the full meaning of that clause, we must establish the meaning of “fornication”, because it stands alone as the only justifiable reason for divorce and remarriage.

Let’s talk about it. The first thing I note in Scripture is that fornication is different from adultery. The terms are clearly distinguished from each other in Matthew 15:19 and Mark 7:21. Fornicators and adulterers are clearly distinguished from each other in I Corinthians 6:9. These facts are important, because many commentators define the term fornication in Matthew 19:9 as adultery. To do that ignores the obvious truth that they are not the same. However, to try to pin fornication to a single definition is not easy, because as you look at Scripture, the term is used in different ways. The Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible acknowledges this in its article on Fornication. In Section 3 of the article we read, “In some passages fornication is used in a general sense referring to all forms of un-chastity”. I agree with the article, but does that mean that the term fornication refers to all forms of un-chastity when it is used in Matthew 19:9? Let me put it another way. Are we to believe that our Lord Jesus was teaching that all forms of un-chastity and therefore, any form of un-chastity, would make divorce and remarriage justifiable in the sight of the Lord?  I do not know of anyone who would hold that view. If that be the case, Our Lord was close to asserting the Pharisees to be right when they asked Him if it was lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause. I think all agree, the Savior was strongly restricting marriage and divorce. He clearly wants a marriage to last for a life time. What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. So we ask, what does the term fornication mean in Matthew 19? More next time.

      I am utterly amazed at what is happening in our country and am further amazed that so many, including too many of God’s people do not understand, or care not to take a stand on the issues of our times.  My concern is not merely political. I wish it could be limited to that. My concern is cultural and spiritual. Do we understand what is happening right before our eyes, and are we prepared to resist the pressures that are mounting? I have always believed one of the most sobering challenges given by our Lord Jesus is that of Matthew 5:13. It is a message of principle that is applicable to the Church in our day. He said, “Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost its savor, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men”. Salt has many uses including preservation and flavor, but if it loses its savor, it is unable to fulfill its appointed task and purpose. In fact, as the text says, “it is thenceforth good for nothing”. Having lost any practical value, it will be thrown out and men will simply walk on it. Two things stand out from the text. The world will decay more quickly if believers lose their “savor”. That is surely happening; but also think about this. Our Lord posed this question. If the salt have lost its savor, wherewith shall it be salted? How do you get the savor back into the salt once it is lost? The implication of the question is that you don’t! That should concern us. If as believers we lose sight of our purpose; if we forsake our unique role here on earth, what should we expect in the future? Over the last few months I have learned more about the impending collapse of our country than ever before and I have learned more about spiritual apathy and complacency than I would wish to know. I believe in the imminent return of the Lord, but we are never told to put all of our spiritual eggs in that basket. The church is never supposed to retreat. It is supposed to be aggressive, attacking the gates of Hell (Hades) and taking captives for Christ. The Lord Jesus said the gates of Hell (Hades) would not prevail against it.   His work is still the building of His church, but the laborers are not only few, they seem distracted by problems; confused about their role and purpose; and conflicted about their true priorities. Has the salt completely lost its savor? I dare say we are not far from being trodden under foot of men.  

                                 In this column we are continuing to discuss children who grew up in a Christian home, but have not followed the Lord. We have talked about authority and how careful we must be to handle our God given authority over our children, in a God honoring way. Again we would ask parents to consider what atmosphere did the use of authority create in your home? The Bible clearly states that it will affect your children. More could be said on that issue, but lets move to another area of concern. I may have mentioned this at other times and try to always remember to deal with it in conferences. It is the issue of influence. Who or what have been the greatest influences in your child’s life? And, have those influences been good or bad? Webster (what we do without him?) defines influence as a power that indirectly or intangibly affects a person. He calls it, “the power to sway”. Is this a legitimate concern for the Christian? There is no doubt about it. Psalm 1 begins: “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” Proverbs 1:10 says, “My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.” In the New Testament we are warned in I Corinthians 15: 33, “Be not deceived, evil communications (company/companions) corrupt good manners.” On the positive side we read in Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.” Think through the difference between authority and influence, because grasping the impact of both can make the difference in real success or tragic failure in child rearing. In each of these scripture references the issue is influence, not authority. Authority is my direct control over my child and how I use it is important, but consider the fact, that in due time authority diminishes. When the child is young, he is under the direct and immediate authority of mom or dad, because he is rarely, if ever, out of their presence. Eventually that will change. He may be under the immediate authority of someone else in a baby sitting setting or a classroom. He may have times of playing with friends. He may visit the home of a neighbor or relative. As the child gets older, those times will increase in frequency and duration. In those experiences the direct authority of the parent will be diminished. Sooner than we might wish, the child will mature, moving toward adulthood and independence. Finally parental authority will come to an end. All the while there will have been another power at work in the heart and mind of the child. That power is influence, and as authority diminishes, influence will increase in its ability to sway. Influence comes from many sources, all of which can deeply affect the thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and conduct of the child. Parents, though some try, cannot isolate their children from outside influences. Rather, they must seek to be the greatest human influence in their child’s life. Parents have the authority to make children do right, but influence can steal the heart. More next time.

Hasn’t spring been absolutely beautiful this year? We had an early spring which seemed to last much longer than usual; my tulips and daffodils seemed to bloom for weeks! I love spring! Spring always makes me think of new beginnings! Just like each day, we begin anew. We can confess our sins and start all over, fresh, ready to count for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We are living in very exciting times! Where are the Christians who are living their  lives to serve the Lord? We better wake up soon and get very busy telling others about a Savior who died for them on the Cross of Calvary. I know how busy we can get just living day to day, but let’s never forget why we are here – to tell others how they can get to heaven at the end of this life. There is a Heaven and there is a Hell. We are going to die one day; will you be ready for eternity? My prayer for you and those you love is that we all will gather at the end of our lives in Heaven for eternity. John 3:16 & 17 say, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.”

Pray with us that many will come to the site to hear and consider their need of salvation. We have distributed over 5,000 promotional cards to invite people to the site. We have had almost 1,000 hits. Help us reach people for Christ. How many may we send to you? (there is No Charge for these).

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